Christmas and holiday periods can be difficult for separated parents when it comes to making care and holiday contact arrangements for children. Generally, these arrangements are better to be made early so there are no surprises or unnecessary stress later down the track.

 

The earlier the better

The Christmas and holiday season is already a busy and overwhelming time, with lots of plans to make and the year coming to a close. Having confirmation as to what you and your children will be doing gives peace of mind, and it tends to  alleviate pressure if these decisions are made early.

How these contact arrangements are made will depend on your situation. If you already have a parenting order or plan that outlines the Christmas and holiday periods, you should follow those terms.  If you are wanting to make changes to those terms, you should seek agreement from others involved early.

If you have informal arrangements which are not entirely clear, you should start by initiating communication with the other parent to solidify these plans. This way, you have time to reach agreement well before the actual days arrive. This communication can be done in person, via telephone, digital communication, or through a third party – this depends on what works best for you and your situation.

The main consideration is a holiday arrangement that suits your children the best. This will be different in every family situation, there is no ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach. Some parents continue the usual care arrangements and let the holiday days lie where they fall. Others like to alternate Christmas and New Years each year, or to split the days in half.

it is important to be realistic. If you live far away from the other parent, splitting Christmas Day in half will be unlikely to work. Instead, consider the broader picture:

  • What traditions do each parent’s wider family have?
  • Are there any special gatherings that the children would benefit from joining?
  • Does your work allow you to take time off during this period?

These arrangements should be made with your children’s welfare and best interests in mind. Not only will this make the holiday period easier for them, but it will also be the Family Court’s main consideration should you need them to assist in making a plan for these times.

 

How should these arrangements be made if you can’t agree or make contact with the other parent?

If reaching agreement on these things is difficult, or if you’re unable to make direct communication with the other parent, the first step is normally Family Dispute Resolution Mediation (‘FDR’).

FDR allows each parent to discuss the issues, preferences, and concerns of holiday arrangements with the help of a trained independent mediator.

You can also engage lawyers and negotiate through them or make an application to the Family Court. However, unless the situation is particularly urgent, it is likely too late to get a hearing before the Christmas period. You also are expected to have completed the free Parenting Through Separation course before any Court applications can be made.

It is best to speak with a family lawyer in order to get specific advice and next steps when it comes to your particular situation.

 

What to do when something has gone wrong on the day

If something goes wrong during the holiday period, the steps you can take depends on your arrangements. If you have a parenting order and the other party has not complied with it, you can take steps to enforce it.

As a first point on call, the Police may be able to help the other party comply, but they are not able to physically uplift the child without a warrant. If the other parent is still not complying, you can make an application to the Family Court for a warrant to enforce the parenting order. However, this is a last resort.

It’s important to keep in mind that it is an offence to intentionally breach or prevent the terms of the parenting order from going ahead without a reasonable cause. This may result in a criminal charge. The Family Court may also change, cancel, or enforce compliance in other ways – see our article on Breaches of Parenting Orders for more information.

 

Do you need an urgent Parenting Order?

If you do not have a parenting order in place and you need one urgently, you can apply for one ‘without notice’ depending on the circumstances.

A without notice process is where you are asking the Court to make a parenting order without the other parent knowing or having a say. Given the potential unfairness that this could cause the parent that hasn’t been consulted, these orders are only made if the delay of going through the regular process could result is serious injury, hardship, or risk to someone’s safety.

 

FOR MORE INFORMATION

Essentially, having discussions with the other parent as early as possible will leave you best placed to have a stress-free Christmas. If this is not possible, seeking expert advice and starting FDR or a legal process sooner rather than later should help reach a solution.

If you have any questions about these issues, please feel free to contact our Wellington and Rotorua based family law experts:

 

 

 

Holiday Child Christmas Contact Arrangements